February 22, 2002 - J.C. calls first referencing Art's discussion with a previous caller about "Planet X."
Art: "West of the Rockies, you're on the air. Hello."
J.C.: "Baloney Bell!"
Art: "Oh- Oh-"
J.C.: "Baloney about your big- big 'star' out there on the other side of the galaxy! Now first of all.."
Art: "How can you- How do you- How do you know its not there?!"
J.C.: "I have insider information! But that's not what I'm calling to talk about! I'm gonna set you straight on the
reason why your phones went down, Mr. Bell! It's because you put me on hold again! Treating me like a
second-rate nobody! As if I wasn't the one bringing forth the New Revelation and the salvation!"
Art: "There are those who think of you as a second-rate nobody, J.C., and- and, you.."
J.C.: "Well. See, though. Coming from some- Listen! Coming from the pathetic stream of losers, and ingrates,
and demonic forces that are- that are paraded across your pathetic show every night! That holds no weight to
me, Mr. Bell!"
Art: "But you're compelled to listen, aren't you, J.C.?!"
J.C.: "I am NOT compelled to listen.."
Art: "Oh, yes you are compelled to listen! In fact, you dial your little fingers raw trying to get in, don't you?"
J.C.: "Mr. Bell, you listen to me and you listen good! Because I'm gonna tell you one more time!"
Art: "Probably an evil red."
J.C.: "Someone's gotta keep tabs on you and pray against you and work against you! Just like I work against the
pornographers of the world!"
Art: "You can't- You can't do that without listening, though, can you, J.C.? To work properly against me you've got
to listen! You've got to hear every single.."
J.C.: "And all- Yes that's right! I hear everything you do every night!"
Art: "See? I knew it! I told you! I told you!"
J.C.: "First of all, that song! That song you start up with every night! The one where the guy- It's a ringing
endorsement of bisexual fornication!"
Art: "What song is that?"
J.C.: "The one where the guy prances out and says 'I'm gonna get straight and come go open up your gate.'
("Some Velvet Morning") What do you think that means?!"
Art: (laughs) "I don't know! What do you- What do you think it means?
J.C.: "When I get straight, I'm gonna open your gate: of Phaedra!"
Art: "What do you think it means?" (begins playing "Some Velvet Morning")
J.C.: "I think its an ode to some kind of freaky homosexual, who's gonna go have sex with Greek goddesses!
That's disgusting! How can you play that kind of-"
Art: "Wait a minute now! Wait a minute! Wait a minute! Greek goddesses; They'd be all right! Greek goddesses
would be women!"
J.C.: "The Cult of Phaedra?!" The one-"
Art: "They would be women! They would be women!"
J.C.: "The Cult of Phaedra?! The one the pornographers! The porno stars are in the Cult of Phaedra!"
Art: "No! No! No! No! Those Greek goddesses.. (amplifies "Some Velvet Morning") That's the song. That's the
one you're talkin' about, right?" (laughs)
J.C.: "Yes! Its Johnny Cash- With the Devil-lover himself, Johnny Cash, talkin' about
having sex in your gate!"
Art: "Did you say Johnny Cash?"
J.C.: "That's Johnny Cash!"
Art: "Is that Johnny Cash? You know that as sure as you're sitting there. Right J.C.?"
J.C.: "I can tell every voice of the Devil!"
Art: "Can you?"
J.C.: "I know every voice of the Devil! Just like the time you had that hippie Willie Nelson on!"
Art: "You can identify them- You just hear a word or two, and you know who they are; Boom! Just like that: Its the
Devil, Johnny Cash?!"
J.C.: "Listen! Listen, Mr. Bell! You don't- You- You rebuke my message! You don't understand the inside
information I have from up high! Listen to me!"
Art: "You know, its Lee Hazlewood, J.C.!"
J.C.: "Who?"
Art: "Lee Hazlewood!
J.C.: "I've never heard that name before!"
Art: "Well see, there ya are!"
J.C.: "Whatever alias he wants to use, that's fine! He can't hide! He can't hide from the Lord! And I'm gonna tell
you something, Mr. Bell! You are going around on your airwaves, saying there is a 'Great Lie'! Have you- Wait!
Wait! You listen to me for a minute!"
Art: "What makes you think you're bringing the Word of the Lord, huh?"
J.C.: "When I have direct communications, its hard to argue with God!"
Art: "How direct?"
J.C.: "Wait a minute! I have to make a point here!"
Art: "J.C.! How direct?"
J.C.: "Direct communication! What part of direct don't you understand?! Don't your marijuana-brain
understand?!"
Art: "The part- But the part that has- the part that has not been defined as 'vocal'? Does it come from the middle
of your head, J.C.? Is it a burning bush?"
J.C.: "The Lord speaks to me in a booming voice!"
Art: "A booming voice.."
J.C.: "I see him upon his golden throne with his white beard flowing and his robe! And he speaks to me, 'J.C.!..'"
Art: "Well I sure hope you can identify the Lord better than you can identify Lee Hazlewood!"
J.C.: "Who?"
Art: "Nevermind, J.C."
J.C.: "Who's Leeza Hazlewood!? I don't know who Leeza Hazlewood is!"
Art: "Obviously you don't"
J.C.: "Mr. Bell, you listen to me! I am going to make a point! Now you listen!"
Art: "That'll be new."
J.C.: "Listen!"
Art: "Yes?"
J.C.: "You are perpetrating that there is a LIE being perpetrated to the masses, is that right?"
Art: "What lie'?!"
J.C.: "That there is a lie as far as spirituality and our descendant, [sic]
and that we really come from apes and monkeys and crawled out of the
ocean, and slithered up here and there. You said this is a Great Lie.."
Art: "Some of us more likely than others, J.C.!"
J.C.: "That 6000 years- That 6000 years- In order for there to be a lie there
has to be a truth, right?"
Art: "Are you a hairy guy?"
J.C.: "No! Listen to me! Do you agree that in order for there to be a lie
there has to be a truth?"
Art: "Yes, I agree with that."
J.C.: "Okay! Okay! Okay! Aha! Who is the father of truth?"
Art: "Who's the Father of Truth.."
J.C.: "God!"
Art: "God is the Father of Truth!"
J.C.: "God is the Father of Truth! That's right! That's right!"
Art: "Then why does he allow so many damn lies to be told..?"
J.C. "Wait a minute! Wait a minute! And who is the father of lies? Who is the Father of Lies? Answer me!"
Art: "Well it could be the same Lord!"
J.C.: "No! WHAT?!"
Art: "It could be!"
J.C.: "The same Lord?! No! The Father of Lies is your master!"
Art: "If- If he allows these lies to be told!"
J.C.: "No! No! No!"
Art: "Yes! Yes! Yes!"
J.C.: "Listen to me! You are trying to trip me up, and I'm not gonna allow myself to be tripped up by the likes of
the Devils Mouthpiece!"
Art: (laughs) "You like the Devils' Mouthpiece!"
J.C.: "Your master Satan is the Father of Lies!"
Art: "All right, fine. So he's the father of lies."
J.C.: "So there is a book- There is a book- There is truth- A book of truth that is solid truth on how, brought down
from the Lord's words straight to mankind! Now! Do you call the word of God- You call God a liar!"
Art: "No. No. All I said was he allows lies to be told!"
J.C.: "So them why do you allow people to call up your program and say, 'Oh, there were people before Adam
and Eve?!"
Art: "Because there may have been! J.C., what about this replenishment thing? You heard the caller earlier!
Explain it! You're the man with the Word."
J.C.: "Listen! I don't wanna talk about the Products.."
Art: "Talk about replenishment! Why did the Lord ask Adam and Eve to replenish the world unless there had been
plenishment prior?"
J.C.: "Yes! I have the Word and I'm not talkin' about that!"
Art: "Why did the Lord tell Adam and Eve to replenish the world unless there had been plenishment prior?"
J.C: "Well-Well-"
Art: "vtha vtha vtha vtha!"
J.C.: "That comes from people who don't know how to interpret the Lord. These are morons who don't know how.
They don't have the spiritual adaptation!"
Art: "I let people say whatever they wanna say on my program, and that includes, Heaven help us, even you!"
J.C.: "Listen! I have right to say what I am saying. The people who- the parade of moronic imbecilic people on
your program every night is pathetic!"
Art: "Is it!?"
J.C.: "You're- And you're back to Bigfoot already the other night! Please, Mr. Bell."
Art: "Well, what's your take on Bigfoot, J.C.? Since we've got you here."
J.C.: "If there is a Bigfoot, it's of the Devil."
Art: "Of the Devil?"
J.C.: "Its- That's right!"
Art: "How do you know that? How do you know that Bigfoot is not a caring, loving, intelligent, thinking, isolated
beastie?"
J.C.: "Oooh And isn't that always the words they use to describe the 'poor Satan; cast down so unfairly! Poor
Satan!'"
Art: "Well, J.C., why then do we hear stories of Bigfoot families together, loving each other and caring for each
other and caring for their young?"
J.C.: "Well, have you ever heard of The Addams Family? They were a family
of Satan worshippers too!"
Art (laughs): "The Addams Family.."
J.C.: "And they seemed to get along pretty well! Just a little misunderstood?
Just a little human sacrifice here and there?"
Art (laughs): "Yeah, that's it! I can't do it! The Addams Family stopped me!
There are limits. The Addams Family."
(7:53)
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