August 21, 2005 -.Clip Streams
Art: "Oh, I do have another surprise for you coming up. In fact, let me read this to you, and then we'll cover the
news. Uh, J.C. (pause) How many of you know the fellow, J.C.? I think this is real, because I got an e-mail from
somebody calling themselves 'Edna Pringle.' And I don't know who Edna is. Edna is- It may be J.C.'s, you know,
'Biblical partner,' or.. I don't know. But I've had these before and it reads real. It says, 'J.C. demands his time! Its
been almost ten years,' that's Y-E-E-R-S (laughs), 'since you let him talk to the audience! How dareth you! J.C.
will grant you,' get that, 'J.C. will grant you one hour to discuss his views on: The New Revelation,' (sighs) the
spelling here! 'The war on media porn! Glonal,' G-L-O-N-A-L, 'Glonal warming, and Hell heating up! Hell and
how people will be eaten by the Devil,' I wonder if he means eaten or beaten?- 'Eaten by the Devil over' A-B-D
'over! The Canadian declaration of war on American values. Degenerate authors! The truth about George
Noory! Evil cats! And the Antichrist will be named! Do you have the guts Bell?' Uh, lets see there's one more
here. 'Mr. Bell. We have sent you the phone number. This is a CLAMP Safehouse!' Whatever in the Hell that is.
'J.C. will be down from his mountain compound to take the call. Do not harass this number! Do not give it,' G-I-V,
'give it out to telemarketers! Or even worse, George Noory or Mike Siegel! J.C. want full honors as guest! You
will play our national anthem! And darn it, stand up!' (laughs) 'Be warned! J.C. says that he's tried to be kind!
Tried to be nice all these years! Softly tried to' Oh, please! 'Softly tried to ply you away from sin and destroying
America! Well, Bell- No more Mr. Nice Guy! J.C. knows' (laughs) 'J.C. knows we're gonna do this the hard way!
So be ready for spiritual combat! The gloves come off! When? Bell! When?' So, uh, unless I lost the number- the
paper with the number on it.. Ah, I got it. I'll try that here in a minute."
(Art briefly discusses the news)
Art: "In a moment. If this is real. If Edna Pringle's communique to me is real, J.C. is just around the corner."
(Crack of thunder)
(break)
Art: "It probably has been ten years since I gave J.C. the honor of, I don't know, spending an hour or so with the
audience, so it appears to be real. Guess who? J.C.?"
J.C.: "It is I, J.C. Webster the Third! And you did not introduce me correctly Mr. Bell! As usual you are
disrespecting me!"
Art: "There was nothing at all.."
J.C.: "Insultation!"
Art: "Insultation? (laugh) There's nothing in this communique about the way you should be introduced!"
J.C.: "I should be introduced as the bringer of the New Revelation, God's ten-star general in the war against
media pornography!"
Art: "Okay, so let's find out exactly what this New Revelation is. What are you talking about?
J.C.: "'God is angry!' That is the New Revelation- That HE has given to ME- To bring forth in the fight against
media pornography! You see, what has happened to this country since God built this nation as his house! And his
house has been overrun with media pornographers! Degenerates! When our Founding Fathers fled those
crazies in Europe, because they wanted to get away from their decedent and evil ways! They came here and
God built a place in the wilderness for them! And his house has been overrun! And God. He tried to send his
son! He tried to give us an easy way out! He tried to help us!"
Art: "J.C., J.C., obviously you and Edna have a computer, or else you could not have sent me this 'demand,' right?
You have a computer."
J.C.: "We have access, and- and that's another thing I wanna talk about!"
Art: "Now before you get off on that, uh, look, J.C. If you have a computer, that means that you get all kinds of
e-mail with porn in it."
J.C.: "Yes! Yes! And that's what I wanna talk about is your filthy listeners have been sending so much filthy
pornography to poor Edna!"
Art: "My listeners?"
J.C.: "Yes! Yes! They have. That's about all that we get!"
Art: "Really? I recall- I recall that we published on the website some time ago a couple communiques from Edna
Pringle."
J.C.: "I was surprised you had the guts to put the New Commandments on your website! And yes, we are still
getting pornography!"
Art: "Is Edna Pringle your Biblical mate?"
J.C.: "My Biblical- No! She is not my mate! How dare you!"
Art: "Well, I- You didn't explain it then. In what relationship to you is
Edna Pringle?"
J.C.: "A servant! A woman in her place! Who knows where her
place is! And that is at the feet of the man who is bringing down
the New Revelation! She is at the feet of the general for God's
war on media pornography! She is my servant!"
Art: "Is Edna- Is Edna listening to all of this right now?"
J.C. : "No! I have- I've sent- I am angry with Edna."
Art: "For?"
J.C.: "Because- I- I am not gonna get into the details, but she seems
to think that she wants to go off and find another man.."
Art: "Aha!"
J.C.: "..and she has been questioning me!"
Art: "What in Heaven's name could have brought her to a decision
like that?"
J.C.: "She.."
Art: "A warm, caring person like yourself?"
J.C.: "I know exactly who is doing it, and it's the Devil!"
Art: "Its the Devil.."
J.C.: "And about the pornography. And I don't want people sending pornography to her anymore, because you're
corrupting her. So we have a new- If your listeners wanna send- You wanna send filth to talk to me, they can talk to
my cousin! And we have a new- a new e-mail. And its boilingpitsofsewage@yahoo.com!"
Art: (laughs)
J.C.: "So you send your filth to the boilingpitsofsewage@yahoo.com, and I will send the New Commandments
to YOU!"
Art: (laughing) "Boiling pits of sewage.."
J.C.: "Boiling pits of sewage!"
Art: "At Yahoo.com.."
J.C.: "That's- That's-"
Art: "Is that a real address or are you putting us on?"
J.C.: "That- I am not a liar! Don't you call me a liar, Mr. Bell! Don't call me a liar!"
Art: "I just asked if you were putting us on!"
J.C.: "Don't you call me a liar!"
Art: "Well, I'm sorry you take it that way. Uh, boiling pits of sewage.."
J.C.: "Boiling pits of SEWAGE! Because that is where all the media pornographers are gonna go! They're going
to be tossed into the boiling pits of sewage! And they're gonna have a body of excretement; and they'll be
covered in red-hot excretement for all eternity!"
Art: "Yes. Yes. Look. Uh, Glonal warming. G-L-O-N-A-L warming.."
J.C.: "Global Warming, Mr. Bell!"
Art: "Global Warming. Well -Well Edna wrote this."
J.C.: "Well that's why. Because I do not encourage my followers, or anybody to get into book-learning!
Book-learning is evil!"
Art: "Or perhaps you wrote this!"
J.C.: "I- I tell her what to write!"
Art: "Yeah, it has- It has the sound of J.C. to it."
J.C.: "I- She- Listen! I will not touch a computer."
Art: "Let me hear you spell Global Warming."
J.C.: "I am not going to do what you tell me to do!"
Art: (laughs)
J.C.: "This is not a spelling bee, Mr. Bell! This is spiritual combat!"
Art: "All right, look. Global Warming is a very important topic to me, so let's hear it! What exactly.."
J.C.: "Let me- Let me tell you! Global Warming because Hell, as you know, is in the center of Earth and it is
heating up! And this is what's happening, Mr. Bell, is that the dirtier the souls are getting, the more corrupted
they're getting! The more they are being pornographied by the media pornographers, they burn hotter!"
Art: "Pornographied.."
J.C.: "They burn hotter in Hell! You see- You see, a person that does one bad thing and goes to Hell doesn't burn
as hot as a degenerate that has been degeneratized by the media pornographers! So their souls are burning
hotter and hotter and hotter in Hell!"
Art: "Ah! Ah! I've got it! Degenerate souls burning ever-hotter causing Global Warning."
J.C.: "It's Global Warming!"
Art: "Well then spell it right!"
J.C.: "Less book learning! More book burning!"
Art: "More book burning?!"
J.C.: "More book burning!"
Art: "You wouldn't burn b- Would you burn books?"
J.C.: "I burn! I burn! We just had a book-burning! We just had to burn the newest Harry Potter book because
its attacking and killing Christians!"
Art: "You burned a Harry Potter book?"
J.C.: "I didn't just burn 'em Mr. Bell! I took holy sticks of dynamite and blew 'em up at the compound!"
Art: "Uh, well that means- That means you had to buy 'em first, didn't you?"
J.C.: "W- Mr. Bell! We confiscate them! And its better that we buy them so that we can keep them out of the
hands of children who will be turned to the Devil by Harry Potter!"
Art: "so you believe then that the particularly evil souls are burning at an ever-hotter rate, causing some of that heat
to irradiate around the world, into the atmosphere, and that's why its getting warmer!"
J.C.: "The heat! The throbbing heat of Hell is radiating out! And people can feel it! And that's why volcanoes
are going off! That's why.."
Art: "Makes sense."
J.C.: "..those.Hot Spots you're talking about are going off! And tsunamis! And earthquakes! And plagues! And
floods! And fires! Its because those evil, corrupted souls that the Devil wants so badly because the filthier the
sinner the hotter the burn!"
Art: "Why, J.C., do you think that I'm personally involved with the Devil? I've always wondered about that."
J.C.: "Mr. Bell."
Art: "Yes?"
J.C.: "You are simply the most dangerous man in America!"
Art: "And in what way?"
J.C.: "You! You have created an intellectual.Tower of BABEL with your radio program! You- I want you to
take a listen to me! Do you know a man named Stewart McBurney?"
Art: "No."
J.C.: "Does that name ring a bell to you?"
Art: "It does not."
J.C.: "Of course it wouldn't, because he was the voice of America and Americanism! For years he held the line
against the Soviet Union! He was the greatest! The greatest radio man ever! And you are on sacred ground, which
is talk radio! This is the realm of the Conservatives! We have been using talk radio to take back America from the
hippie-degenerate no-goods who have corrupted and degenerated our society over time!"
Art: "Then you actually consider yourself to be a Right-Wing talk show host!"
J.C.: "I should have my own show! And I will have my own show! And that is in the works, Mr. Bell! I will.."
Art: "I can well imagine it might be. Do you really think you could keep up this phony-baloney act for that long?"
J.C.: "Excuse me? You dare accuse me! You are the one with baloney, Mr. Bell!"
Art: "Do you really think you could keep up this act like that?"
J.C.: "This is not an 'act,' Mr. Bell! This is the anointing brought forth, unto me, from God!"
Art: "You really believe all of this comes to you from God, and not ('demonic') The Devil?!"
J.C.: "There you go! Revealing your true self! I am not being influenced by the Devil, Mr. Bell! You are the one!
You are the one creating the intellectual Tower of Babel!"
Art: ('demonic') "Your voice, J.C., has a certain tone to it that we all wonder about."
J.C.: "I want everyone out there in the audience right now to listen to this.."
Art: ('demonic') "Hahahahaha!!!"
J.C.: "..This is the true voice of the man that you have been listening to for these years! He is the one trying to drag
your soul down to Satan! So that you will be thrown into the boiling pits of sewage! Skinned alive and dipped in
salt! And eaten and devoured over and over again!"
Art: "Dipped in salt?!"
J.C.: "Dipped in salt, Mr. Bell!"
Art: "What does salt have to do with it?"
J.C.: "'Cause it burns!"
Art: "Ohh! I see! That- That's after you get scratches and the pit of sewage.."
J.C.: "After the Devil sticks you with his pitchfork over and over and over again!"
Art: "Mm! And, well, you say here people are gonna be eaten by, did you mean eaten or beaten by the Devil,
'over.."
J.C.: "Eaten and beaten. Both. The Devil is gonna eat your body up! 'Slurp! Slurp! Slurp! Slurp!' He's gonna take
it and eat it up, and then you're gonna be excreted out!"
Art: "Give me that sound again, please!"
J.C.: "What sound?"
Art: "That- That 'eating' sound."
J.C.: "No! I'm not- I don't have to do what you say!"
Art: "Come on! (Art makes attempt at J.C.'s "eating" noise.)
J.C.: "Mr. Bell. You're trying to get me off my message."
Art: "That's not hard, J.C.!"
J.C.: "And my message; I am trying to save America from the utter destruction of the satanic Soviet Union!"
Art: "The Soviet Union doesn't exist anymore, buddy!"
J.C.: "Yes it does!"
Art: "No it doesn't It crumbled."
J.C.: "That's a lie that you and your friends in the media love to perpetrate!"
Art: "The Soviet Union crumbled, J.C. You know that. I know you know it!"
J.C.: "That is a lie, Mr. Bell. It is a deception from the Devil! The Devil's deception!"
Art: "Everything bad is from the Devil, isn't it J.C.?"
J.C.: "Everything is from the Devil."
Art: "I think you're consumed by the Devil!"
J.C.: "I am not consumed by the Devil and I am insultated that you would insinuate such things! You
disrespect me continually!"
Art: "You know, a lot of people are curious, J.C. What part of the country are you from? Where do you originate
from?"
J.C.: "I am not gonna disclose my secret location."
Art: "Just..just the.."
J.C.: "God will reveal to those who are faithful to come calling to our new ground."
Art: "Just the- Well how can- How can all these people come if they don't know where you are?"
J.C.: "God's gonna tell 'em! He's gonna be speaking to the hearts of the faithful."
Art: (laughs) "Is that right?"
J.C.: "And we are going to be re-locating anyway to a new compound in Idaho, the great American Pacific!"
(Art begins playing "Oh, Yeah!")
Art: "Yeah? You're goin- So your headquarters is gonna be in Idaho?"
J.C.: "That's correct!"
Art: "Ohhh! ha! ha! ha!"
J.C.: "We're gonna have a brand-new compound, And God is gonna reveal to the hearts of the faithful, and he's
gonna call them like a tolling of the bells! The faithful will come to their knees! In droves!"
Art: ('demonic') "Well, J.C., we need to take a break! Will that be alright with you, buddy?"
J.C.: "Yeah, so you can sell your demonic wares!"
Art: ('demonic') "Demonic wares! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!" (laughs) "From the High Desert! This is Coast to Coast AM,
rockin' on through the night! We've got J.C., and yes! He will! Take! Your! Phone calls! So if you wanna talk to
J.C., its the, uh- opportunity of a lifetime!"
(break - "Oh, Yeah" plays during station identification.)
Art: "Ha! This music is so J.C., isn't it?"
(Show phone numbers)
Art: "Yeah, man, this music is J.C. all that way! He'll be back in a moment. We're gonna take calls from some of
you out there, and see how you react to the man who thinks the world is heating up from the souls that are burning
in Hell. You know. (pause) The pits of sewage down there? We'll be right back!"
(Crack of thunder)
(break: upon return, "Oh, Yeah!" is still playing)
Art: "By the way, J.C., that is your anthem! And when I play it I squat down!"
J.C.: "What?!"
Art: "You heard me!"
J.C.: "A- b- w- y- y- Th- th- That music that you're playing is making me sick!"
Art: "That's your anthem, J.C!"
J.C.: "That's not my anthem!"
Art: "Yes it is!"
J.C.: "No its not!"
Art: "You wanted an anthem, you've got it!"
J.C.: "I wanted the National Anthem!"
Art: Now I wanna know what the Hell-"
J.C.: "I wanted the American anthem!"
("Oh, Yeah!" fadeout)
Art: "Before I subject you- Before I subject you to callers, who are
waiting to, Well I don't know what they're waiting for or why they're
calling, but, um, before we go to all of that, I wanna know what's so
evil about my cute little furry cats?! They're beautiful!"
J.C.: "Cats are demonic creatures, Mr. Bell!"
Art: "Say what?!"
J.C.: "They are Lycanthropes! Demons in disguise!"
Art: "They are not!"
J.C.: "Yes they are! They are!"
Art: "They are the sweetest little fur-balls you'll ever wanna meet!"
J.C.: "They are evil! They're evil!"
Art: "No. If you think cats are evil, then let me tell ya, brother-" ('demonic') "You're evil! Evil!"
J.C: "Cats are evil because they steal souls and they are the familiars of satanists!"
Art: ('demonic') "Haaa haa haa haaa!"
J.C.: "Now let me tell you! You never- You're still disrespecting me! You're not allowing me to make my points
about media pornography! and I wanna make.."
Art: "Well one of your points was 'evil cats.'"
J.C.: "Cats! Yes! Devil cats! Demons! They hide themselves in the appearance of what- they try to look like
these innocent, furry little things, but they're really demons!"
Art: (laughs)
J.C.: "They are! And they really are- They're evil! You look at their eyes and they look at you and wanna devour
you and steal your soul! I've got one cat on the compound right now that I have been chasing for the better part of
a year!"
Art: "You know, I think you're overly-sensitive to this whole pornography issue. Maybe- Maybe it would be true, J.C.,
that you, in your idle time look at what? I bet- I bet.."
J.C.: "In my idle time I review all manner of- of media porn!"
Art: (laughs) "I knew it! I knew it! I knew it! (laughing) I knew it!"
J.C.: "Mr. Bell, You are trying to insinuate that I would enjoy media pornography! If I have to review a Larry Flynn
(Larry Flint) magazine I do not enjoy it one bit! I've got to know the enemy! And I'm gonna tell you, there's more
to media pornography than dirty pictures of naked people! I'm gonna make a point here right now, because you
need to hear this!"
Art: "And every- every moment you see it wounds your soul, J.C., right?"
J.C.: "It can't harm me 'cause I'm prayin' against it! God has charged me with this work! God has charged and
gaven [sic] me the energy! The power! The power of God! When- When-.."
Art: "So its like you're prayin' against it, but you're lookin' at it goin' Oh, Yeah! Right? Yeeeah!"
J.C.: "You! Th- Your program-"
Art: "Goin', Oh, Yeah!"
J.C.: "The defamatory ideas in your program makes me sick to insinuate that I would sit there and enjoy it- makes
me sick, Mr. Bell, I'm tellin ya there's more to pornography than just dirty pictures of naked people!.."
(Art plays a piece of "Oh, Yeah!" - In the background: "Ooooooooh Yeeeeaaah!")
Art: (simultaneous) "Ooooooooh Yeeeeeaaah!"
J.C.: "And I'm gonna tell you right now there's one pornography that draws millions of men out of church, and that's
Football! And I'm gonna tell you exactly how evil football.."
Art: "What is wrong with foot-?!"
J.C: "Football is a homosexual ritual!"
Art: "Oh, for God's sakes."
J.C.: "Let me tell you why! Because! Any time you've got a man who is putting his hands on the backside of
another man like that, and that- what that is, is a simulation of the homosexual consummation. And the ball- the
football represents a birth. Its a mockery of birth. It represents the 'homosexual-self' which is then given to the-
to the quarterback, who is usually the best-looking one on the team. He then takes that- He takes that
'homosexual-self' and looks out among the field of other men, who will 'receive,' and 'take' his homosexuality. And
he sends it to him! And with the intention of taking it into 'sacred ground'- the 'sacred space' of- of- of America
and family and values!"
Art: "Now, America has certainly taken a more tolerant attitude towards homosexuality. Certainly in the last few
decades.."
J.C.: "Unfortunately! A bunch of queer guys! Tryin' to turn straight guys Queer!"
Art: "And you don't 'join in' on that, I take it."
J.C.: "I hate homosexuals! Is that clear?!"
Art: "All right, Yeah, its clear. First time caller line, you're on the air with J.C.!"
Caller 1
Caller: "Hello, is this me?"
Art: "Yeah, that's- Only you know that for sure, but it sure sounds like you, yes."
Caller: "Good deal. I appreciate you taking my call, Art."
Art: "Where are you?"
Caller: "This is Adam from Decatur, Illinois."
Art: "And why in God's name are you calling J.C.?"
Adam: "Uh, well, I wanted to tell him I really appreciate him coming on the air,
and I enjoy a good laugh every once in awhile and I wanted to ask him.."
J.C.: "Good laugh?! Are you laughing at the New Revelation?! You laugh at
God?! Listen to me you degenerate! You have no right to laugh at God!"
Adam: "I was laughin' at the whole thing and I wanted to ask you if you came on the air for an interview or a
comedy?"
Art : "Has it occurred to you, J.C., that some people think this is funny. They think you're a total put-on. Maybe you
are!"
J.C.: "NO! NO! Because they don't wanna believe the truth and light and love of the Lord! I'm bringing love! I'm
bringing Salvation!"
Art: Then why do you scream?"
J.C.: "You have to scream in order to get people to listen! Sometimes you've gotta break a few eggs to make an
omelet! And that's another thing I wanna talk about is the Food Porn!"
Art: "Food Porn?!"
J.C.: "Yes I've touched on that before! Food Porn! The cooking shows where
they make food look so delicious and make you wanna eat! Gluttony is- Gluttony is-
Gluttony is also a sin, Mr. Bell! And I'll tell you what! People! Listen! This is the
same thing.."
Art: (laughs) "Isn't this a basic human need?"
J.C.: "People need to eat, but they don't need to be fat-sos!"
Adam: "Am I still on the air?"
Art: "Yeah! Yeah, you're on the air!"
J.C.: "Well why don't you get him off the air so I can make a point.."
Adam: "Well, I'm gonna get off the air, and I appreciate it."
Art: "Alright. Have a good morning, caller. Thank you.
J.C.: "Let me make my point about.."
Art: "Make a point! Any point!"
J.C.: "This is where the Satanic Soviet Empire has this elaborate plan! And what
they are trying to do is, 'pornography' and 'indulgence.' Its more than just dirty naked
pictures of people doing dirty naked things. It is al-"
Art: "It is?"
J.C.: "It is also food! Because, listen! People- Like they say, 'I was born gay!' That's what they say! 'I'm gay; I'm
born gay, and that's the way I am so I have to be that way.'"
Art: "And you don't believe that?"
J.C.: "I- No! I don't! I- the- I tell ya, the only person that was born gay was Satan!"
Art: "I guess this means youre- you're not in favor of Gay marriage?"
J.C.: "Absolutely not in favor of Gay marriage! That is the- the- That is why Canada has declared war on the
United States with the recently- They are allowing Gays to get married in Canada, and that's the subversive- that's
the evil subversiveness of the Canadians, which is because they- they look like you and me!"
Art: "And that constitutes war?"
J.C.: "A declaration of war on America and America's family values! Because they know that the majority of
Americans do not support Gay marriage! They do not support homosexuality! They don't want 'em in their
communities! They don't want 'em in- in- in their churches! They don't want 'em in their schools! They don't want
them in the nation! And God doesn't want 'em!"
Art: "Wild Card Line! You're on the air with J.C.!"
Caller 2
Caller: "Hey, J.C.! Oh, I'm sorry! Hi Art! This is Tim from LA."
Art: "Yes."
J.C.: "Address me as J.C. Webster the Third, God's general!"
Art: (laughs)
Tim: "Okay. Hey J.C., I know you're for book-burning, but does this like
include burning the Bible? Because you can't spell.."
J.C.: "NO!"
Tim: "You can't spell Global Warming."
J.C.: "Why would I burn the Bible?!"
Tim: "You must not be doing a very good job!"
J.C.: "You're an idiot! You're an idiot! Shut up!"
Tim: "No! You shut up, you idiot! Hey, Art!"
Art: "Yes?"
J.C.: "You just shut- You shut your mouth! Saying I would burn the Bible! How dare you!"
Tim: "I know where, um.."
Art: "You're right. He couldn't spell Global Warming!"
J.C.: "Less book learning; more book burning! I burn books by like- I take novels.."
Tim: "Hello, Art?"
Art: "Yes."
Tim: I know where, um, J.C.'s staff cover is."
J.C.: "..of- of Clyde Baker and Stephen King.."
Art: "Hold on, J.C.! You know where J.C.'s what?"
Tim: "I know where his, um, compound is."
Art: "His what?"
Tim: "J.C.'s compound."
J.C.: "Well then you just come on, buddy! Come on down to the compound!"
Art: (laughing)
Tim: "Its in Val, Norway. (laughs)" (unheard)
J.C.: "You come on down!"
Tim: "Val, Norway. I- Art-" (unheard)
J.C.: "You come on down! We'll be waitin' for you!"
Art: "Alright. Go- go on down and see J.C.!"
J.C.: "You come on down!"
Art: "You see, J.C. would like- how people would like to meet you, J.C.?"
J.C.: "Come on down!"
Art: "They wanna be in your presence!"
J.C.: "You come on down to the compound! If God reveals the location to you, you bring it!"
Art: "Yeah, okay. East of the Rockies, you're on the Air with J.C.!"
Caller 3
Caller: "Yeah, that would be me!"
Art: "That's you!"
J.C.: "Oh, boy.."
Caller: "Okay, Uh, I hope this is a joke.."
Art: "Oh, no!"
Caller: "..because I tell ya, if this guy's on the level, he's scary! Okay?"
Art: "Yep, see, a lot of pe-"
J.C.: "Only to those that worship Satan!"
Art: "You scare more people than Ed Dames!"
Caller: "..And he needs to unveil himself of some of those books that he's burning.."
J.C. "Let me tell you! Let me tell you!"
Caller: "..and instead of burning them he needs to learn vocabulary, and, uh.."
Art: "J.C.! J.C.! Let her speak!"
Caller: "The guy is just outrageously nuts, and in a world where we have all kinds of stuff that are going wrong, all
that energy being stupid? Come on!"
J.C.: "Don't call me stupid, woman! I'll tell you what's stupid, is you trying to have the right to speak to
me as a man!"
Caller: "Hey get a point! Get a point! Hey! Start working for the-"
Art: "Now let J.C.- Hold it! Hold it! Let J.C. respond!"
Caller: "Okay."
J.C.: "Go! Hussy!"
Art: "Now, don't- don't call names! J.C.."
J.C.: "I calls 'em as I sees 'em!"
Art: "You call 'em as you sees 'em. Well. Is that it? Is that as good as its gonna get? I know you have certain
feelings about where women oughta be."
J.C.: "Let her speak!"
Art: "W- Okay!"
Caller: "'Let her speak!'"
Art: "Go ahead, young lady!"
J.C.: "I'll grant her."
Caller: "You need to get back in your time machine, go back to the Dark Ages where you belong, sir! You're
scary. You are scary."
J.C.: "No! We need to bring America back! We need to bring America back to the Biblically correct times!"
Caller: "Because you know what? Unfortunately there are people out here who are going to take you seriously!"
J.C.: "We need to bring America back- GOOD! Because we need to be Biblically correct!"
Caller: "'We need to bring America back.' America was stolen from the Indians to begin with, sir-"
J.C.: "Cleansed! It was cleansed! Cleansed!"
Caller: "..Who were slaughtered wholesale to steal this country, okay?"
Art: "All right, let him respond. 'America was originally stolen from the Indians' is
what she said."
J.C.: "Well now that's a bold-faced lie! 'Cause it was stolen from God by the
Devil's people! The Red Man! Who's Red? The Devil! Satan!"
Art (laughing)
Caller: (laughing) "I've had enough!"
Art: "All right! Thank you very much. Good morning."
J.C.: "Good riddance! Goodbye!
Art: "West of the Rockies, your turn with J.C."
Caller 4
Caller: "J.C."
Art: "J.C.?"
Caller: "Hello?"
J.C.: "Yes! I am here!"
Caller: "Yes, Art. This is Jason calling from Canada, and I would really like to know what J.C.'s problem is with
Art?!"
Art: "Well he's a had a problem with me for years and years-"
J.C.: "He's the Devil's Mouthpiece!"
Jason: "I don't think he is!"
Art: "That's what he calls me."
J.C.: "He's the Devil's Mouthpiece and I've said it from day one!"
Jason: "J.C., I think you- I think you need to get your head checked out."
J.C.: "I don't have to do a damn thing you say!"
Jason: "..Mr. Art Bell is a wonderful man. He loves cats. I love cats."
J.C.: "Yeah, I'll bet you do!"
Art: (laughs)
Jason: "I do! They're a wonderful, wonderful creatures!"
J.C.: "You degenerate Canadian!"
Art (laughing)
J.C.: "I don't like degenerate Canadians!"
Jason: "Anyway, I just wanted to call in and say, J.C., there? You know, God doesn't comment to those uninvited. If
you seek him, he will come to you."
Art: "You hear that, J.C.?"
J.C.: "I don't need a degenerate, filthy, European decedent Canadian to tell me how God's gonna seek people
out! Get rid of him and.."
Art: "All right, well you aren't going any further with that,caller. Thank you very much, and.."
J.C.: "..give me an American! What about people who agree with me?!"
Art: ('demonic') "Why J.C.? Why would you call me the Devil's Mouthpiece?!"
J.C.: "You are